


If life is going to hurt me anyway, can we speed this along?

by BlooBlu



Series: Crime doesn't usually mean love [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Humor, But you probably got that, Chess, Cute Kids, Deceit needs a hug, Dubious Morality, General idea is that Deceit commists crimes to feed the kids, Hinted illegal occupation, Please Forgive me, Poverty, Remus is HANGRY, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Virgil is babey, kids are a handful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:48:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22431361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlooBlu/pseuds/BlooBlu
Summary: Deceit doesn't have the best life, really, but he loves it all the same. It's tough, but he has some great friends to get through it with, and two amazing brats....though maybe he should reconsider showing up to lunch with a black eye.
Series: Crime doesn't usually mean love [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1584493
Comments: 2
Kudos: 119





	If life is going to hurt me anyway, can we speed this along?

Logan has been called many things in his life, some accurate and others less so. "Brown-  
nose", "Nerd", "Calculator watch" and several more vulgar words he'd prefer to keep out of his mind. The point is that, despite not always knowing the exact meaning, Logan has gotten pretty good at knowing what slang is and isn't an insult through context and tone. 

"DECEIT, TELL YOUR HUSBAND HE CAN'T HOG ALL OF THE CROFTERS I WILL NOT HAVE _PLAIN TOAST_ FOR BREAKFAST!" 

"You think I can control him? Just have some cereal, Roman." 

What category could he possibly put this under? Since when is he a _husband_?! He and Deceit aren't even _dating,_ they certainly aren't _married_! And the fact that Deceit wasn't correcting them at all -

… _Are_ they dating? Logan's never been in a romantic relationship so he isn't sure how it works, but isn't there supposed to be some sort of mutual verbal agreement? It doesn't just _happen_... right? 

///

It didn't take as long as he thought it would, to get used to having friends again. When Deceit had left highschool with no friends or family left, he'd resigned himself to be lonely. Virgil and Remus made that less painful, but it wasn't going to be the same as having friends your own age. 

But here he was, drinking wine and watching movies with Roman and Logan, while Patton made popcorn. Remus was still at school and Virgil was just upstairs taking a nap. When was the last time he took them anywhere? Even just to the store was often too much of a hassle, and now he was prepared for them all to stay the night in Logan's house!

…And wasn't that something. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he felt so… so _whatever_ Logan made him feel. Not- not love, per se. Not yet, he wasn't ready for that. But definitely more than platonic feelings. One day Roman had called Logan Deceit's husband, and everyone had just rolled with it.

Ludicrous. He couldn't imagine Logan dating someone _casually,_ let alone being _married._

…most of the time. 

. . . 

"DEE'S HOME DEE'S HOME DEE'S HO-"

"Remus, _please, quiet down._ You are going to get us _evicted_."

" _dee's home dee's home dee's home dee's home dee's home-_ "

How Remus could manage to be even more annoying in a stage whisper than a banshee screech is something Deceit will never know, surely. But at this point, he can't do much more than smile and carry the child practically vibrating with excitement into the kitchen. Virgil had come in before him, somehow always simultaneously hiding under Deceit's arm and 8 steps ahead of him.

Knowing anyone for six years would make it easy to know what they're thinking, why they say certain things and what little ticks mean what - this is especially true when it comes to two small children with no filter and nowhere else to be. So he really can't be mad when he knows that Remus just has an abnormally fast metabolism, and can't really cook for himself without being distracted by sharp and hot things and hurting himself or someone else. He's excited that someone is home to cook and when Remus is excited there's no difference from that and when he's on the warpath.

Deceit tries his absolute best to make sure there are easily accessible snacks and pre-cooked meals when he's gone, and that Rem has a big lunch to take to school, but there's always those weeks when there just isn't enough. When there's maybe a bag of rice and some milk or fruit, and there's nothing he can do.

This is thankfully not one of those weeks, but it's getting close. There's enough to make a good dinner, but he's going to have to run out and grab something to make breakfast with tomorrow… some instant pancakes, maybe. Or omelettes? He'll figure it out when he gets there. 

One thing's for sure, he's going to have to make a trip soon, and the only times he can really get away with that nowadays is when Virge and Rem are at school. Things will definitely be easier when Virgil is old enough to take care of himself, but that's going to be a few years yet. Not like Deceit's in any hurry for his kids to grow up, anyway. If he could, he'd let them stay small and happy forever. But he's not going to be around forever, (most likely not even the next 10 years if he's being honest) and eventually they'll have to know what to do when you're born disadvantaged in this world.

///

Logan knows that Deceit's job (if he really has one, that is) is probably not of a legitimate nature. Of course, Deceit hasn't tried to hide this fact at all, it's just never been a subject of discussion for very long. 

But knowing and seeing are very different things, and when Deceit meets Logan at his home for some tea and chess with _the most painful looking black eye he has ever seen,_ Logan is quite taken aback. Doubly so when he says that it is "just business, don't worry about it little Logan Berry."

"Deceit, ecchymosis of the face, especially over what is arguably the _most fragile part of it,_ is nothing to ignore! There could be fractures, you could have a concussion, have you even put ice on it yet-"

"Look, I'll be fine- you can get me a bag of frozen peas or something if you're so worried, but you just happened to catch me at a bad time is all. Not like I was going to let work get in the way of our time together, of course."

Logan did get ice for Deceit's face, but that would not be the end of this discussion! If Deceit is putting himself in harm's way for his "job" then there were some serious problems with his job! 

"I'm not going to ask what sort of _business_ you were conducting when this happened, but please assure me it will not happen again! This is unacceptable!"

"...I do what I have to do. But I promise that I'll try not to get punched again, Logan Berry."

"You don't _have_ to get hurt, though! You could find another job, I'd help you as much as you need to find something suitable-"

"Logan, that is a truly kind offer and you are really the greatest friend I could ask for; but I do not even have a GED. Nowhere better is going to hire me."

The defeated manner in which Deceit said this was off-put by a genuine laugh moments later. 

"I mean, c'mon! I've broken into your house several times now, you know I have a criminal record!"

…Logan wouldn't say this was weird, per se, just out of character for Deceit. While they were fairly close, Logan knew that this man was used to keeping secrets. Perhaps less so now, choosing to leave out information rather than tell outright lies, but this was still a moment of rare clarity from his friend.

"I- Logan, I'm not going to get anything better than what I've got now, okay? Can we just… can we just play some chess, and listen to that one podcast you're always gushing about?"

"...of course. Would you prefer earl grey or lavender, this time?"


End file.
